Bow And Arrow
by aweasleyjumper
Summary: The little things about Regulus Black's daughter.
1. and the walls kept tumbling down

The first time she sees him, she is crying.

It starts with the sorting. When her name is called, Bellatrix walks confidently, she is sure she is going to be sorted in Slytherin. She is a Black after all, and Black are _always _Slytherins.

So when the hat cries out "GRYFFINDOR!", she freezes.

And the whole hall freeze with her. Not a single clap or cheer, nothing. While a dying family, Blacks are still known and a Black in Gryffindor is almost unheard of.

The faint tinge of pink in her cheeks is the only sign that she feels something. With her face pure blank, her head held high, Bellatrix walks to the Gryffindor table, she doesn't care no one applauded, she is a Black and she doesn't need anyone's approval.

Expect her mother, that is.

When the next day comes, and with the next day the owl post, the thing that Bellatrix is the most afraid of happens.

An eagle owl drops a Howler _right in front of her. _

And she wants to scream and cry and vomit and- she knows exactly what this means. With a calm move, she opens the letter, and a second later, the voice of Lucretia Black née Rosier fills the hall.

"BELLATRIX BLACK! YOU ARE A DISGRACE! GRYFFINDOR? I DID NOT RAISE YOU SO YOU COULD GO AND CONFER WITH BLOOD TRAITORS AND MUGGLEBORNS. MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SUCH A DISSAPOINTMENT? WHAT WOULD YOUT FATHER THINK? HE WOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOU HIS DAUGHTER MOST CERTAINLY. A TAINT ON THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK! YOU SHOULD BE VERY CAREFUL HOW YOU BEHAVE YOUNG LADY, A TOE OUT OF LINE AND YOU WILL END UP LIKE YOUR UNCLE! DON'T SHAME YOUR FAMILY EVEN MORE THA-"

She doesn't remember when the shouting stops or when she stands up and leaves the hall. She doesn't remember sliding down a wall in a corridor no one has been in a while from the look of it, and she doesn't remember when she starts crying.

That is how he finds her, a small little girl with a wild mane of raven black hair, wrapped in a ball and whimpers coming.

"Hey! Are you okay? What happened?"

Bellatrix tenses, no one should have seen her like this, not even with red eyes and tear stains on her cheeks let alone actually witnessing the crying. Crying is for the weaks and Blacks are not weak.

She raises her head and looks at him, and mutter with a snappish tone.

"Don't you know what happened? I'm sure everyone in the Great Hall heard it."

He sits next to her.

"Ah, well you see I hadn't been in the Great Hall yet. I slept a bit late and no one really bothered to wake me up so I could eat before class it seems. So what happened so bad on the first day of school that it made a firstie cry?"

"I got a Howler."

"What?! On the first day of school? How did you manage that?"

"I. . got sorted in Gryffindor."

"Wh. . . Oh! You're the Black girl. Bellatrix, was it? Yes I reckon that would be bad."

"Yes it is."

"I'm not sure if it would make you feel okay, but dad wante me to get sorted in Gryffindor and I got in Hufflepuff. You're not the first one to shame their parents with their house." There is a slight bitter tone in his voice, Bellatrix realizes.

"I'm sure your parents would not disown you for getting sorted in Hufflepuff though."

"Wait what? They would do that to you?"

"Contrary to the belief of many people, I am not the first one in my family to get sorted in Gryffindor. My uncle was too."

"What happened to him?"

"He got disowned when he was sixteen. He is in Azkaban now."

"Wow, that seems a bit harsh."

"Hmm-mmh."

". . ."

"What is your name anyway?"

"Cedric. Cedric Diggory. Nice to meet you little Black."


	2. i'd rather run away

Bellatrix doesn't know what she is.

The obvious title would be Seer, but Bellatrix knows that's not it. Seers does not have visions of absolute future, they have glimpses of future that can be or can not be, or they make prophecies and that's it.

But what she sees is not predictions, she does not read tea leaves or look at crystal balls, no it just comes to her and they are always, always true. Everything she sees, to the last detail always happens. And Bellatrix does not understand what that means.

The first time she sees something she is eight, and it is something so trivial that she just thinks it was a dream. The second time and third time is the same. But the fourth time she is with her mother, and when the vision finishes, she opens her eyes to her mother shaking her, shouting and shrieking and there is almost tears in her mother's eyes and she is just so confused. Later, when she talks with her mother about it happening before, her mother tells her that her eyes had turned completely white and she was shaking and muttering.

Her mother tries her best to find out what it is too, they even tell her grandmother to look at the Black library but they just never find what she truly is.

When she is eleven, just less than a year before she starts Hogwarts, Bellatrix has another vision. She is a mess by the end of it, and she just runs to her mother to describe it and the two leave their house the moment Bellatrix finishes her explaining.

Bellatrix is the one finds her.

She walks in to the drawing room to find her grandmother lying on the ground with lifeless, open eyes and a smile on her mouth and her wand is on the ground and Bellatrix just screams and screams and scream-

She learnes that day that seeing the future, knowing the future is not something she wants.


	3. i am not him

Professor Snape does not like her.

No that is not right, he hates her, loathes even.

At first, she thinks it is because she is a Gryffindor but that theory dies down quickly. He does not act like that with the other Gryffindors. His hate is just for her.

Seeing Snape looking at her with hate makes her angry. Angry at Snape for hating her without giving any reason, without having any reason, angry at herself because she can not think of the reason why, she is angry because Potions is the subject she is best at and she does not want the teacher of it hate her.

The answer comes to her about a month after she starts Hogwarts. It comes so quickly, so sudden that she is surprised she could not figure it out before.

_He hates her because she is a Black. _

And he makes it rather obvious with the way he says her last name. He says "Black" like it is a curse, like it is a posion he could not brew it's antidote, like the word itself will come to life to make his life miserable.

Another month after she figures it out, she decides to confront him.

She spends that month trying to understand which Black he could hate so strongly that it would make him hate every Black because of them. After learning his age by finding out Hogwarts yearbooks she crosses out her father's cousins. They are all older than Snape, and he would not have enough meeting with them for him to hate them.

And that only leaves Regulus and Sirius Black. Her father and uncle.

It takes her a week after that to remember her mother talking about her father and Snape being acquaintances, friends even, and that she never said something about a falling out. She knows her mother would tell him about it if that was the case, to warn her.

Which means Snape hates Bellatrix because of her uncle, Sirius Black. And it does makes sense, with them being in the same year and a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. They could have been rivals.

It takes another week to gather up caurage to confront Snape. But there must have been a reason the hat placed her in Gryffindor, and what is a Gryffindor if not brave? So one day after class she just stays back and after everyone leaves she makes her way to Snape's desk.

She knows she could have take a subtle approach, she could have been sweet and innocent and she could have play a shy, concerned-for-her-grades-student but she also knows that Snape, as the Head of Slytherin would not buy it.

So she decides to be blunt.

"Why do you hate me, sir?"

"I beg your pardon, Miss Black?"

"You hate me. Anyone with an eye can see it. Or an ear since you also make it quite obvious with the way you talk too. I want to know why. Is it because of me being related to Sirius Black?"

"And how did you come to that conclusion, Miss Black?"

Bellatrix tells him. She tells her about her research, her reasons for not thinking it is because Bellatrix or Narcissa or Regulus, her reasons for why it must be because of Sirius Black. And all the time she speaks, Snape watches her carefully without saying a word.

"I must say, you spent a lot of time for this Miss Black."

"If you have been a professor for another subject I would not care. McGonagall does not really like me either, but I do not want my Potions teacher to hate me. Sir."

"Oh? And may I ask why?"

"Because I am good at it."

"You sound rather confident."

"Because I am. I have been helping mother with potions since I have learned how to talk. Why should I not be confident at my abilities?"

"Some might say it is arragonce to do so."

"I do not cate what others say."

"Very well. Let's say I "hate you" as you have put it, because of your uncle, what were you planning to do once you had that information?"

"I was going to make you see I am not him, sir."

"Start then, Miss Black. Make me see you are not him."

Bellatrix talks a lot after that and Snape never interrupts her. She tells him about being raised by her mother and grandmother, how she never met her unce, how she does not even see Sirius Black as her uncle, because "he left his family for a Potter, he choose Potter over his family and he has not been a Black ever since, not really". Ad she tells him that just because they were both Blacks breaking tradition and getting sorted in Gryffindor it does not mean she is going to act like him, or end up like him. She does not have any desire to go to Azkaban, after all. Nor to be a mass murderer.

When she stops talking she is surprised it took so long. She finds it fortunate Potions was her last class of the day or she would have been really late for her next class. She takes a deep breath and waits for Professor Snape's answer. It takes all of her efforts to not have a hopeful expression on her face, but she feels like she is not quite succesful at it.

He does not speak for a few seconds, almost a minute and she feels her face fall slightly. But then he lets his amusement be seen and speaks softly, so softly that Belaltrix almost does not hear him.

"No, I do not think you are like him at all."

She gives him a small smile, nods her head once and turns to leave. Just before she is out of the classroom, he speaks again.

"Oh and Miss Black, detention. Two weeks. We shall see your talents in Potions that you speak of."


	4. in a hole in the ground

There is only a week between her and Cedric's birthdays, so they decide to celebrate both of them at the same day together.

By then she knows him for only about two months, but he is her best friend- only friend, really if you do not count her occasional talks with the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan. (More like getting pestered by them but hey, they are the only ones from her house that actually interactes with her so she is not complaining.)

They are sitting by the Great Lake, under a tree that shields them from the rain, he leans on the tree and she sits opposite of him with her legs crossed and she has the biggest smile on her face that she had since she started Hogwarts, even before coming Hogwarts actually because it is a Saturday and she does not have to worry about her classes for a while, and she has Cedric all by herself for the rest of the day and she just feels _happy._

She decides to give him chocolate because Cedric has an incredible sweet tooth that makes him eat candies as though he was starved through his whole life, like he inhales them.

He gives her a book.

A Muggle, fiction book to be precise.

_The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, _she reads and she thinks the cover is really pretty but she is definitely not going to tell him that.

She raises an eyebrow and asks him "What makes you think that it is a good idea to give me a Muggle book?"

He grins widely in response and cheekily says "Because if you are going to be a blood traitor, you should do it properly, right?"

She does not find it in herself to be angry at him, not really.

She finishes the book in two days.

.

Then she reads it again, and again.


	5. misfit mind

**When I first started to think about this (which was about 2 years ago, wow) she was going to be best friends with the Golden Trio, and more easy-going, more popular and all, she was even going to end up with Ron but then I thought about how her reaction to Cedric's death would be like if she was friends with him, how much she could change and all that and this just happened. Fred and George invited themselves on the road, really. Initially they just knew each other by Ron. It changed so much since I started it is just wow, I can barely recognize it.**

* * *

Bellatrix spends most of her time in the library. She had always loved reading, and the first time she sees the Hogwarts library, she almost cries of joy.

It is so much different than the library she is used to, The Black library is big, maybe even as big as Hogwarts' but it is cramped, and old and just ancient. There are books that are centuries years old, books that are not even valid anymore, and there is the problem that most of them are illegal. Not that it discourages her much. But still, reading books that are considered new compared to those she read, books that does not involve using sacrifices and blood and things that are just as disgusting is a nice change.

A month after Bellatrix starts Hogwarts, she is almost always with Cedric except when she is in class. He comes with her to the library often, and they work together, and he helps her with her homework, and she helps him with Potions, something he never really understands completely, and most of the meals she even sits with him on Hufflepuff table. She does not know what it is about Cedric, but something just clicks when she is with him.

People in her house mostly avoids her, she is sure people raised in the magical world already knows about her family, about how she is related to Sirius Black, the mass murderer, or how she is named after Bellatrix Lestrange, the insane death eater, and they warned the muggleborns to stay away from her, because what if one day she just snaps and hexes them for being a mudblood? She tells herself that it does not bother her, really, but deep down she knows she lies to herself.

One day, she stays at library a little more than the usual, determined to finish the book before she leaves. She raises her head when she hears chair scraping against the floor, and she sees two redheads and a boy with dreadlocks sitting in front of her. She looks at their robes to see what house they are in. _Gryffindors._ She stares at them bemusedly, trying to figure out why they decide to talk to her now, after a month.

The redhead sitting at the left clear his throat and grins. "Well, hello then. I'm Fred Weasley. And this is my less good-looking twin George. And that is Lee Jordan."

"Weasley?" she cocks her head slightly and says softly, "Someone in my family married a Weasley about fifty years ago. She was disowned for it if I remember correctly."

"Disowned?!" exclaims the other redhead. George, was it? "For marrying a Weasley?"

"Oh no, for marrying a blood traitor. But you can take it as for that too I guess." she nods.

"How do you even know that if it happened 50 years ago?" Jordan asks curiously.

"Grandmother liked to threaten me with disownment when I did something she did not like. She told me about everyone who was disowned in our family so I did not do the same things as them."

"She sounds like a lovely woman, your grandmother."

"Oh you do not know even the half of it." she smirks at them. "She disowned her own brother for helping her disowned son."

The boys in front of her looks astonished, all three of them staring at her with their eyes wide open.

She shakes her head, to clear her thoughts. "Why are you even talking to me?"

George gives her a mischievous grin. "Why, we wanted to get to know our resident misfit, of course!"


	6. under the covers

At the start of the year Cedric becomes the Quidditch Captain for the Hufflepuff Team, the whole House celebrates it together with a party. And outside of the Hufflepuffs, only Bellatrix is invited. Over the years, through her friendship with Cedric, Hufflepuff is the house that acceps her the most in the school, and she is not certain if she is amused or upset. But they invite her to most of their parties, and everyone in the school knows Hufflepuffs are the best ones to throw a party, so she smiles at them and keeps her mouth shut.

This year someone— a seventh year, probably, even manages to sneak alcohol, a muggle drink called tequila, and she decides to give it a shot.

She likes it, if she had grown up in another family, she could have probably even say she loves it, but she does not push her boundaries, she is still a Black, and it is still a muggle drink.

Soon after the party starts, she feels herself starting to get tipsy, and when a few fifth years ask her to sing a song—they all know about her love for singing by then, it is hard not to when she wakes up Cedric with her singing almost every morning when she can sneak into the common rooms— she does not even protests. She clumsily scrambles on a sofa and she yells them to play a song that she can sing.

She laughes cheerfully when she hears the first notes of the song, fortunately it is a song that she knows.

_I come home in the morning light  
My mother says when you gonna live your life right  
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones  
And girls they want to have fun_

She laughs again, and again and she continues to laugh even as she sings. A crowd starts to sing with her and she realizes that she have never really felt so free, so unrestricted in her life. After a summer full of sneers and sharp-edged remarks with her mother, she feels this is exactly what she needed.

_The phone rings in the middle of the night  
__My father yells what you gonna do with your life  
__Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one  
__But girls they want to have fun_

For a second, her eyes meet with Cedric, and she smiles at him, and winks at him and he grins and raises his glass in response and she laughes again, and giggles.

_Some boys take a beautiful girl  
And hide her away from the rest of the world  
I want to be the one to walk in the sun  
Oh girls they want to have fun  
_

When the songs finishes, she gives them a broad smile and bows and everyone cheers and she thinks she can get use to this.

The party finishes too late for her to go back to her dorms, and Cedric offers her his bed for the night. After having a discussion about where he is going to sleep, she convinces him to sleep next to her, in the same bed.

.

The next morning, she leaves the Hufflepuff Common Room at five am, before anyone wakes, with Cedric's shirt on her and her clothes from yesterday in her hands and Professor Lupin catches her right outside of the common room. His eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline, he lets her go without giving detentions or taking points and she can see the amusement in his eyes.

When she sits next to Cedric at breakfast the same morning, her face is still red and she grumbles "I think the new Defence Professor may think I am a tramp." and she tells him about what happened that morning.

He roars with laughter when she finishes, and she cannot stop herself laughing with him.


	7. you regret you made me

When Professor Lupin says they are doing boggarts on the second week of the year, she almost protests, almost says they are fourth years, they covered them last year and they don't have to study boggarts again but she knows it would be a lie, Lockhart did not teach them about boggarts or grindylows or werewolves—or anything, really.

She knows what her boggart will take form of, and she knows it is not pretty, and she also knows it is not something she wants the whole class—which would then spread through the entire school, to witness.

However she does not say anything, she just watches the others facing their worst fears silently, and she does not say anything either when it is her turn to face the boggart.

She steps forward, one step and two steps and three steps and finally she is next to the professor. The giant-insect-turned-pink-boggart takes one look at her and changes into a man—or a boy, as most people would say it, a boy she only knows from photos.

His hair is ink black and it reaches to his shoulders, combed perfectly, without a hair strand out of place. He is exactly like how she remembers, how she sees him every morning in the photograph she keeps near her bed, how she saw him when her mother got nostalgic and told her about her father, the love of her life and showed her pictures from their school times. In those photographes he always smiles, genuinely and happily. But now, his lips form something inbetween a smirk and a sneer, and his eyes—oh, his eyes are grey and exactly the same shape and colour as hers and they are angry and full of disapproval and they are directed right at her.

Regulus Black opens his mouth and speaks. It takes all her strength to not break down right there. His voice is how she imagines it would be like, a soft, enchanting voice. What she does not imagine was the venom in his voice when he speaks.

"Well, well, well. . . Would you look at that. My wayward daughter."

The words sounds strange coming from an eighteen-year-old boy, but she does not even notice, she only flinches. The smirk on her father's face—_not her father, he is not my father_—grews when he sees her flinch.

"What a disappointment. You do not even deserve to carry the name Black. You are just like him, are you not? A blood-traitor ready to leave her family for a boy. Just like Sirius did when he was sixteen and just like you will in a few years." he scoffs.

She shakes her head fervently, repeatedly. There are tears in her eyes that she does not them fall and she tries to answer, say the spell just say "Riddikulus!" and get rid of the regulus-boggart but only a choked sob comes through her mouth. Her eyes widen frantically and suddenly her wand drops and she runs from the classroom and she runs and runs and runs.

All the while she runs, her father's voice echoes in her head.

_You are not my daughter._

_You are not my daughter._

_notmydaughternotmydaughternotmydaughter, _it bounces up and down and up inside her head, it shouts and whispers and yells, never stopping and leaving a destruction behind it.

_You are not my daughter. _

She runs until she reaches the Fat Lady's portrait. She barely chokes out the password and she runs again, this time to her dorms. She flops down onto her bed, only then she allows herself to cry, and cry she does. She cries herself to sleep and she does not go down to dinner that day, knowing her little episode in the Defence class is the talk of the school.

.

The next morning, being let in by a second year, Cedric comes to get her. He forces her out of bed, out of the common rooms and he leds her to the kitchens. He asks the house-elves breakfast for the two of them. In the corner of the kitchens, away from the hectic house-elves, he wraps his arms around her, her head tucked under his chin and he just holds her for few seconds, all the while whispering what the boggart said was not real to her, it was not her real father and that he was sure if her father was alive he would be proud of her.

When a house elf tells them that their breakfast is ready, he presses a kiss to her hair and lets her go.


	8. let the sunlight in my lap

It is a rainy day when the Hufflepuffs learnes they are playing against the Gryffindors in a few days. For Bellatrix, it is a fairly normal day. She wakes up at the same time as every day, she wears the same clothes as every day, she goes down for breakfast at the same time as every day, and she sits at the same place as every day. Across Cedric.

"Good morning." she says, her voice unusually chirpy, "I have heard something I really thought was a good thing this morning. Apparently the first game of the year is going to be between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. Wonderful, is it not?"

Cedric startles slightly, his mouth hanging open. "Where the fuck did you hear that? The professors told us that only about an hour ago."

"How many times do I have to say this, do not swear, it is not proper to do in front of a lady." she scolds mildly. "I am a Black, and Blacks know everything." She smirks at that, and he chuckles.

"Yes," he scowles suddenly, his thoughts turning to the game they had to play earlier than they thought—thus, not nearly ready as he wanted, "Apparently, Slytherins were not fit to play with their Seeker injured."

She scoffs, "More like they did not want to play in case the weather continued like that." Like confirming her thoughts the sound of thunder fills the hall.

"Probably." Cedric nods.

She smiles—a mischievous smile lighting up her face that Cedric learned very early on their friendship that he should be careful when she smiles like that, "Is your team ready to go against Gryffindor then?"

He grins, "Of course they are. I trained them didn't I?" A white lie, but not something a non-quidditch-player would notice about.

She starts to fill her plate with food, not answering him for a few seconds. After her plate is full, she looks up at him, "Well, you are going to play against Gryffindor. Potter never not managed to catch the Snitch, remember?"

"There is a first time for everything, and this is the first time he is playing against me." he smirks smugly.

She tut-tutts, "So confident."

"Well if you are going to be like that little Black, how about a bet?" he asks.

"A bet?" she raises her eyebrows, seemingly thinking. "Alright, what is on your mind then, Diggory?" She emphasizes his last name.

Cedric's smile grows, nearly showing all his teeth and he leans forward, "If I catch the Snitch, you are going to wear Hufflepuff colours for a week, including the tie with you uniform."

She pulls a face, "Yellow and black? Really? Are you even sure it is not against the school rules to wear another house's tie?" She sighs dramatically, "Very well. But if Potter catches the Snitch, it is going to be you wearing the Gryffindor colours for a week."

He grins and nods, "Deal." And he spits on his palm, bringing it forward like expecting her to shake. She looks at his hand with barely concealed disgust. "If you think I am going to shake your hand like that, you are sorely mistaken, Diggory." He laughs, and after a few seconds of watching him laugh, she joins him.

.

When Cedric leaves the hall to get his books for his classes for the day, she quickly makes her way to the next table and sits right next to Potter. She brings her mouth close to his ear and whispers, "If you do not catch the Snitch in the next game, Potter I will castrate you and believe me I am not lying." When Potter shows he understood—his eyes widening, his nodding fervently, and gulping very audibly— she pats his back a few times, stands and smiles at youngest Weasley and Granger who are looking at her with shock clear on their faces. She leaves the hall the smile still plastered on her face.


	9. maybe we can make it

On a snowy December late afternoon, just before curfew and about half an hour before she has to leave to get to her own commong room, they are in the Hufflepuff common room, sitting on the sofa nearest to the fireplace, she lies down, with her head on Cedric's lap, and the book Cedric gifted her on her birthday a few months ago—_he gifts her muggle books every year, it is like a tradition now_— so close to her eyes that it covers her whole face. Cedric has another book on his left hand, and with his right hand he unconsciously plays with her hair, making an even more mess out of it.

Abruptly, like it is a sudden desicion, he closes the book he is reading and removes her book from her hands. She stares at him curiously, a questioning look on her face.

"Spend the winter holiday with me and my family." he blurts out.

Like someone shot at her a stinging hex, she rises to her knees in quarter-of-a-second and exclaims, "What?!"

She usually stays at Hogwarts on winter holidays. After going home in her first year and spending the entire holiday fighting with her mother, she never goes again except summer holidays. In her second and third year at Hogwarts, Cedric always offers to stay with her, especially on her third year when it seems "Slytherin's Heir" is attacking the students, but every time he asks, Bellatrix always declines him. This year, she thought it would be the same, not him asking her to come with her.

Cedric shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant but Bellatrix notices the slight tensing in his shoulders, and she can see him wrangling his hands together—something he only does when he is nervous.

"There is a murderer on the loose, a murderer who can break into the castle without anyone finding him, you know, it could be safer maybe leaving for the holidays."

She laughes, she cannot help it, "Ced, the murderer you are talking about is my uncle, I doubt I am in immediate danger from him."

Cedric's face twists in an emotion she cannot define, "Well, he was in Azkaban for twelve years, he could be insane for all we know, and he have never seen you, did he? What if he can't recognize you as his niece when he sees you?" he says.

She sighs, "I do not think that would be a problem, but if it makes you happy, I would love to spend the holiday with your family. It would be nice to finally be introduced to them formally." she smiles hesitantly.

Cedric smiles back at her. "Yes—yeah, good."

.

By the time the train reaches the station, she is a mess of nerves. She does not show anything on the outside, she is all smiles and laughes to Cedric and his—and by extension her friends, but inside, it takes all her strength to stop her hands from shaking, from stuttering when she talks and her head is full of pessimistic thoughts.

_What if they do not like me?_

_What if they think I am not a good friend for their son?_

_What if they see me as my family, as just another Black waiting to turn to Dark?_

And there is the problem that Cedric's mother is a muggle-born. Four years of being a Gryffindor, she learns to accept them, she accepts that her family lied to her about them, but there is still moments—moments that her identify as a Black surfaces, the Black in her that thinks all muggle-borns are beneath her, that they do not belong to her world, a part of her that sneers even at the thought of muggles and muggle-borns, a part of her that thinks of them as _mudbloods._

And she is terrified that while she is at Cedric's house, she will live one of those moments.

She lets Cedric lead her through the platform, she does not even notice when Cedric stops, and she almost collides him. Straightening her spine and shoulders, she raises her head, and looks at his parents for the first time. His mother is smiling, being a muggle-born she probably does not know what it means to meet a Black, but his father knows and he is frowning, and he looks at her quite like looking at an insect he sees on the floor.

Bellatrix fakes a smile at them, and in a sweet voice she introduces herself. "Bellatrix Black, ma'am, sir. I am so glad to finally meet you."

.

The ride to their house is silent and awkward. Mrs. Diggory asks a few questions about school that she answers smoothly. ("Oh, so you are a Gryffindor, how nice! I hear most of the Blacks are Slytherins, there was one when I was in school too if I remember correctly, it is good you are not, hmm, isn't it Amos?") After a few attempts at forcing her husband to talk, and recieving only a few short, brusque answers, she accepts defeat and stops talking completely.

When they arrive at the house, Mrs. Diggory ("Oh, all me Mary, dear, there is no need to be so formal.") shows her the guest room, where she will be staying for the next few weeks, and she leaves her alone so she can "get use to the room". Once she finishes placing her belongings to the room, she sneaks in Cedric's room which is right next to hers.

"Lovely house. It is very. . .homely." she says, leaning against the door frame.

Cedric turns his head to look at her, a smile on his face. "Homely. . . That's one way to describe it, I guess."

She beams, and flops herself down to his bed, crossing her arms behind her head. She watches him for a few minutes as he takes his clothes from his trunk and puts them in his closet. After he finishes, he sighs and lies down next to her. "I am sorry about my dad, really, he just. ."

"He sees my uncle when he looks at me." she finishes it for him. "Yes, I know. You do not need to worry about it. It is what everyone thinks about me." she says, a soft, bitter tone in her voice. The school year at Hogwarts is even worse than the previous years, and she cannot help but hate her uncle for it, for all the looks of hate and anger and indignation she gets daily.

He turns his head to her side, to look at her closely, her eyes are closed and she looks like she is sleeping. He wraps his arm aroung her waist and brings her closer to him, and kisses his forehead. "They will warm up to you once they get to know you." he says firmly, and she knows he believes it. She just wishes she could believe it too.


	10. darling i do see you

In the morning of Christmas day, Cedric comes to her room to wake her up. He opens the door loudly, and exclaims, "Good morning! Come on, up!"

Bellatrix groans softly and mumbles incoherently, forcing her eyelids to stay closed. When Cedric sees she is not waking up, he pulls off her blankets. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty. It is time to wake up." he shouts again, even more louder than before. Bellatrix turns her face to him, her eyes opening about an inch and asks what time it is. When Cedric answers it is 8 am, Bellatrix groans aloud this time and puts her head under her pillow. "Go away! It is too early to wake up."

Cedric chuckles and takes the pillow from her hands. "But it is the Christmas morning, and we are going to exchange presents now, before the breakfast." he says and shakes her awake. Bellatrix opens her eyes fully this time, and when her vision fills with the sunlight she groans again and immediately closes them again.

"Fine, fine. I am up." she mutters and stretches. Her stretching resembles so much a cat that Cedric cannot help but grin at the sight. "You can go away now. I am coming down in a few minutes." she says, still lying on the bed and not making any move to get up.

"Fine, but if you are not down in ten minutes, I am going to drag you down by your hair."

Bellatrix smiles sleepily and nods.

.

Eight minutes later, fully clothed and clean, Bellatrix makes her way downstairs. Cedric and his parents are sitting near the colorfully decorated christmas tree, and under the tree there is a pile of presents.

When Cedric sees her coming down, he smiles widely and yells, "Finally!"

Bellatrix smiles at him at first, then turns to face his parents. "Good morning, Mr. Diggory, Mrs. Diggory."

Cedric, looking very much like a five year old, almost bounces up and down where he sits. He takes a present from the pile and places it to her hands. "Open mine first."

Bellatrix looks down at the present in her hands and chuckles. It is wrapped in yellow and black paper. "I wonder what it is this year. A book, perhaps?" she looks up and smirks at him. Cedric smiles back at her sheepishly.

She slowly and carefully unwraps the gift.

"_Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams by Sylvia Plath_" she reads. "That is a.. nice name, I suppose."

"Oh, I remember reading that when I was a teen." Mrs Diggory remarks, "It was a lovely read."

Bellatrix nods and without saying anything in return, she reaches to take her gift for Cedric. She holds out it for him—wrapped in red and gold. He laughs, seeing the colours and she winks at him.

When he unwraps it, it reveals a book too. Cedric stares at the book in his hands for a few seconds, then looks at her, grinning. "A book? Didn't know you were the type to—" he stops abruptly when he sees the title of the book.

"It is the first edition, from the Black library. Apparently one of my ancestors was very interested in transfiguration." she says, staring intently at Cedric's face to see his reaction to her gift. The book is something Cedric had been wanted to read for months, and it is hard to find the book, even the Hogwarts library does not have it.

"First edition?!" Cedric manages to say after a few long seconds. "I.. I can't have this— this must have cost a fortune."

"A fortune? Were you even listening to me, I told you it was from the Black library. The only thing it cost me was a few knuts for the owl post, and the glares I will probably recieive from mother this summer because of bothering her. Now do shup up and take the book without a complaint." She catches Mrs. Diggory's eyes and she winks at Bellatrix.

Cedric smiles hesitantly and nods and she grins at him.

Cedric's parents gives her a scarf and gloves, and in return she hands out them a thank you for having me gift—thank you for having me in your home when my deranged mass murderer uncle is out there probably planning how to murder the young saviour of our world while chopping little kitten's heads off and maybe killing some rats gift—a bouqet of daffodils and lavenders and hyacinths that has a charm that prevents them from withering. She manages to win Mary Diggory's heart just by those flowers, it seems.

.

When they finish, Mrs. Diggory goes to make a breakfast, and about a minute later Mr. Diggory also joins her. Right after they leave, a brown, little owl flies inside and drops a package in her lap. She stares at it bewildered, trying to find out what it was, everyone who would send her a christmas gift had already sent her one.

The package is wrapped clumsily in old newspapers, and looks like it had been done in a hurry. She only spends a few seconds to unwrap it and when she does, it reveals three black notebooks, and a piece of paper—a note for her.

_dear bellatrix,_

_your father sent me these before he died, to hand them over to you once you were older. i still have no idea why he chose me to do it. perhaps because he thought your mother or grandmother would not. _

_i am sorry it took me this long to do, i hope you will like them. _

_-s.o.b._

She frozes when she reads the signature, because she knows who it is from and she knows she should not accept gifts from an escaped convict but these are from her father and her father wanted her to have these—they were his once, and—and she would be damned before she gives them to someone else before she examines them thorougly, properly.

She manages to choke out "They were my fathers." to Cedric. "I.." she cannot finish before she flees the room with the notebooks in her hand.

.

Once in the privacy of the guest room, she sits on the bed and places the notebooks side by side in front of her, she takes one of them and opens the first page. It is handwritten and she almost starts to cry at the sight of her fathers writing. It is soft and every letter is formed with care—it looks like her father spent hours writing just one page—the letters are curvy and long. She traces a sentence with her fingers, slowly.

There is a date on the first page, and it reads 18th November 1976. Once finished observing it at full length, she closes the notebook—_a journal, they are his journals that he wrote in Hogwarts and after, his diaries, his thoughts, his sentences, his, his_—and takes the other one. The date on the first page is 29th August 1971—two days before her father started Hogwarts. She lies down on the bed and starts to read it.


	11. this house is not a home

**notes:** oh, this was painful to write, and it is still not like i want it but if i worked on it a little more longer i would probably go crazy.

#

_29th August 1971 13:06 _

_I found this book in Diagon Alley yesterday when we were shopping for school. It seemed to call to me_—buy me, write in me, write, write, always—_and I did. I could not resist. _

_And here I am, writing in it._

_Merlin, I do not even know what to write now that I have it. Perhaps about Hogwarts? I am starting in two days. It must be intriguing_—_lots of things to write. _

_. . . _

_23:25 pm _

_Sirius and mother are fighting again. This time it is abot Sirius being friends with the Potter boy_—_a blood-traitor apparently_—_almost as bad as being friends with a mudblood. _

_I can never understand why Sirius enjoys so much to rile her up. Why can't he just stay silent and do as she wants? Why did he had to get sorted in Gryffindor? If not for it, I would not be awake in the middle of the night, worrying over it. Because if Sirius had gotten sorted in Slytherin, it would be certain I would too. But no, that prat had to go and get sorted in Gryffindor. Not even Ravenclaw_—_Gryffindor! _

_#_

_1st September 1971 20:42_

_Well I got sorted in Slytherin. It seems I did not have to worry much. The hat barely touched my head before it shouted the house. _

_At least, mother and father are going to be proud and happy. _

_#_

_16th October, 1974 17:09_

_Professor Slughorn invited me to his Slug Club today. What kind of a man would name a club like that? Oh Merlin. _

_It is basically a club filled with rich stuck up, spoiled snobs who all have connection to someone important. _

_Makes me wonder why he did not invite me before this._

_I am all of the above, after all. _

_#_

_25th November, 1974 15:23_

_Why, why must I have a brother so stupid? It is like he has a death wish, who would play a prank on all the Slytherins? The Slytherins that even before that would enjoy to kill him slowly? One day they are going to kill him and I will not lift a fucking finger for him because that fucker will be deserving it. _

_#_

_26th November, 1974 12:34 _

_He got another Howler from mother for the prank. This is the 3rd this year. If I did not know better, I would have said he was deliberately trying to get as many as he can. But he would not want to hear mother's voice more than he had to, surely. _

_#_

_3rd January, 1975 14:22_

_This house is not a home_—_it is a prison. A prison you cannot leave because you are supposed to love your guardians, protect your guardians, defend your guardians_—_while they hit you and torture you and force you and_—_and_—oh, sazalar, it is a fucking prison.

_And the only way to survive is to pretend you do not know what it is. _

_#_

_1st June, 1976 17:55 _

_Snape is still pining over the mudblood, I do not know how much I can take it anymore. _

_Is this what became of my life? Wathicng my friend losing himself over a girl who would not look twice his way anymore? _

_And she is only a mudblood._

_Fuck. _

_#_

_25th July, 1976 _

_Sirius left. He_—fuck—_h__e left, he fucking left, he is gone and not coming back_—fuck he is gone. _He left me, he left the house, he choose a fucking Potter over us, over me, and FUCK HE LEFT LEFT GONE HE FUCKING RAN AWAY_—

He left.

#

_26th July, 1976 13:01_

_Mother burned his name off of the tapestry, today. She was laughing while doing it. She laughed and laughed and_—

_I do not even know her anymore. Who is this woman who calls herself my mother? _

_Her son just ran away, to Merlin knows where_—probably to Potters, always fucking damned Potter—_and here she is laughing because she is getting rid of the blood-traitor. _

_She also told me to not to get in contact with him when we are at Hogwarts. _He is not you brother anymore,_ she said, _he is just a blood-traitor, and blood-traitors do not deserve any attention frm the Black heirs.

The heir, _she called me. _

_the heir, the heir, the heir. the future head of the black family. _

_It is not right, it should have been Sirius, he was the older one, he was my brother, he should have been the heir_—not me, not, never me.

_Fuck, he left and it still does not feel real. _

_It is like he will come down from his room any moment, getting in shouting matches with mother and sometimes father again._

_But he will not because he fucking left without a second thought. _

_#_

_23rd March 1977 18:53_

_Merlin, she is beautiful. _

_Her hair is golden and shining and dazzling. Her eyes are like the sky_—_blue with a bit of grey clouds in it. There is a whole new world in them. _

_She smiles like the sun, and laughs like the sun and_—fuck she is beautiful.

_She is like the sun itself come down to earth_—_when you look at her your eyes burn and hurt and yet_—and yet—_you cannot, you will not stop looking. never. _

_The most beautiful creature I have ever seen._

_She is driving me crazy, and I do not find myself minding it not even one bit. _

_#_

_winter, 1978 sometime somewhere_—_something_

_I did it. _

_I fucking did it and it hurts_—_damn it, it hurts like hell, like there is a pressing iron on my forearm and fuck the worse thing is I cannot stop thinking about what would Sirius say if he knew I was a Death Eater now. _

_He would probably curse me, hex me, hate me. _

_Salazar, he already hates me._

_._

_._

**notes#2: **reviews, darlings, pretty please.


	12. father, father

**notes: **oh my god, i literally fucked up. bellatrix was supposed to be about two years olden than harry, but i only just realized that it is really not possible for her while writing this. she's born after regulus' death and regulus dies only a year before harry's birth. and now it is too late to change it, so just go with it idk?

**notes#2: **ok this was supposed to be on the last chapter but i physically could not write it. who knew writing from the point of view of a father would be so hard, ugh.

#

_august, 1979_

_my little girl, _

_you are not even born yet, and i feel like i already love you. _

_lucretia is pregnant for 7 months now, and we are married for 3 months of it, and it still feel bizarre_—_me being a parent, only at eighteen, and newly graduated._

_well, it looks like i will never get the chance to be one, now. _

_i do not even know why i am writing this letter to my unborn child instead of writing to lucretia, my wife, my love, my life, my everything . maybe because i cannot get myself to say goodbye to her, or maybe because this is my only chance to talk to you. maybe both. maybe neither, and it is just another reason. maybe. maybe.. who knows? _

_i never wanted any of this to happen. i never wanted to leave my famile before we could even be one. never wanted to be a death eater, not what it really was underneath all the illusions. _

_i am sorry. i am sorry._

_but i have to do this. because what kind of a father would i be, if i let my daughter live in a world where that_—_that mad man_—_that monster lived? if i had the chance to rid of him and not do it?_

_i cannot say what it is, i cannot write it anywhere that can be intercepted. i cannot tell anyone about it if i want to keep them safe. only me and kreacher knows about this and only we will know of it. _

_but i have to do this and i am sorry. _

_i am sorry for everything and anything. _

_i will send this along with my diaries to sirius. he will keep it until you are older. i know he will. and once you are old enough he will send it to you. i hope. _

_read those well, know them, learn from them. learn what this family really is_—_not what others know of it, not the illusions and the glamours of it. know the cold, hard but essential truth about the black family. know all of it, everything about it. and remember. always._

_and please, please do not make the same mistakes as mine. _

_be your own person, not me, not your mother, definitely not your grandparents_—_just you. _

_i am sorry this is all i could give to you. i am sorry i will not be with you while you grow up_—_i will never get to hold you, never see your first steps, never hear your first words, never see you getting on the hogwarts express for the first time, you falling in love for the first time, never, never, never._

_i am sorry, so sorry, my love. words cannot express how sorry i am. _

_regulus arcturus black_

_._

When Bellatrix finishes the diaries and the letter, it has been days, and it is the night before they turn back to Hogwarts. She sits on the bed, her legs crossed, a blanket wrapped on her. Bloodshot and swollen eyes, tear stains on her face, she places the letter in the last diary, closes it and puts it under her pillow. she lies down and closes her eyes.

_he knew he was going to die, he knew it and still did it, _the only thought in her head, and the thought fills her head fully, straining it and pushing it and forcing it. She shakes her head to clear the thoughts, but it only makes a headache.

She sighs. She pulls the blanket off of her. She stands and leaves her room. Making sure she is silent and not making any noises to awake the people sleeping in the house she makes her way to the kitchen. She takes a glass of water and drinks it. Finishing it, she puts down the glass. She goes to the bathroom. She splashes a handful of water on her face. And she does it again. The water helps her clear her head a bit, but not to the point she wants.

She sits on the cold floor of the bathroom. She watches beads of water dripping down the sinks. It feels surprisingly calming, and she feels herself relaxing, slowly and steadily. She stays in the bathroom, watching the water for minutes, maybe hours, maybe just for a few seconds she does not know. After a while, feeling herself getting sleepy, she stands up.

Walking past Cedric's room, she stops. She stares at the door for a while, thinking—it seems the only thing she had done tonight, thinking and thinking and thinking—never stopping. She takes a deep breath and opens the door. She moves to the side of the bed Cedric is not sleeping. She slips in the bed next to him, and rests her head on his back. Cedric stirs once, then twice but does not wake up. She breathes out and waits for the sleep to come.


	13. when the skies are grey

The fifth day of March, 1994, finds Bellatrix outside, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Ever since she was a little girl, Bellatrix always loved spring. She loved the sunlight on her skin—warm, but not too hot, she loved flowers blooming everywhere, flowers in different colours—red and blue and pink and yellow and white and—, in different types, in different shapes. But the thing she loved the most about spring was the rain. She loved the grey clouds, the lightning, the thunder, the way rain washed up everything, cleaned everything. And she loved the smell of the woods, of the soil after the rain—the smell of mud, of humidity, of being _fresh._

And well, if the sun came out right after the rain, and there was a rainbow, it was just a bonus, right?

March the 5th turns out one of those days. It rains for hours and hours, seemingly never ending. But it does end, and when its' end finally comes in the afternoon, Bellatrix decides she wants to go out and take a walk. She also decides not to bring Cedric with her, it is close to his O.W.L.s and she is sure he is camped out in the library studying non-stop.

She chooses the edge of the forest because that is the place she knows she can relax the most, the place that will be far awat from the sneering glances of her peers.—the sneers comes from almost everyone since Sirius Black's last attempt at murdering The-Boy-Who-Lived. Taking the edge of the forest as her path, she walks for as long as her feet can take, it is a Satuday after all, and she has all the time she wants.

When she feels tired, her feet aching, she comes under a big tree that can shield her if it starts to rain again. Taking out her wand, she warms and dries the space under the tree. She sits down. She rests her head against the tree. She closes her eyes and just listens. She listens the sound of the wind, of the leaves rustling in the wind, and birds chirping in the distance. She smiles.

She really, really loves the spring.

After about half an hour of relaxing, a whine coming behind her startles her. She opens her eyes immediately and turns around. She finds a huge, black dog that reminds her of the Grim she saw once on Katie's Divination book last year, sitting at the behind of the tree, looking at her with big, grey eyes that shines with what seems like tears.

She ignores the tears in the dogs eyes, it cannot be real tears, after all, it is just a dog. She stares at the dog bemusedly. She did not know there were any dogs in the ground except Hagrid's dog.

She inches her hand forward and whispers to the dog, "Hey, there. What are you doing here, love?"

The dog whimpers and brings his head closer to her, bumping it against her hand. She starts petting him His fur feels soft, softer than what she thought it would be. The dog stands and comes even closer to her. Now that the dog is standing on his legs, she sees how thing and shaggy he is.

"Oh, are you hungry? You certainly look so. I have not heard anyone talking about a second dog on the grounds. Why does no one know about you? I am sure at least someone would feed you if they knew." she says mostly to herself. She does not expect a reply, but the dog gives her one anyway. He widens his eyes and shakes his head—much like a human.

She raises her eyebrows in shock and withdraws her hand. "You—you can understand me? How?" She tenses. Any dog who can understand evey word a human says is definitely not a normal dog.

She narrows her eyes. "What are you?" she asks coldy, but with a curious hint in her voice.

The dog backs off a few steps and looks at her with his shiny eyes—grey eyes, grey, _grey like hers_—he wags his tail and turns around. He takes a few steps away from her, into the forest, but then turns around to look at her again. He whines and points his head to the direction he was going. He wags his tail once more.

She chokes back a laugh when she understands what the dog wants to say. "What, you want me to follow you? No, that is not going to happen. No." she says confidently.

The dog whines, and whimpers. He takes a step towards her, and then a second step. She stands up abruptly and raises her wand and points it to the dog. The dog steps in his steps when he sees the wand and whines pitifully, pleadingly. There is something in his eyes that makes her want to lower her wand and follow the dog into the forest but she shakes it off after a few seconds. She reminds herself how the idea that following a strange dog that no one has seen before could be bad, awfully bad.

"I do not know what you are or how you can understand what I say, because that is not a normal dog behaviour, but frankly I do not care unless you do anything harmful." she says and the dog nods once.

"But. ." she continues after taking a deep breath, and trying the ignore the fact that the dog just _nodded, _"I am definitely not going to follow you into the Forbidden Forest, not even if it is daylight right now." she puts an emphasis on the word 'forbidden'.

The dog whimpers a few more times, but seems to understand she was not going to come after him. He nods again (and she tries, really, really hard not to react at it) and turns around to leave. He suddenly sprints into a run and leaves her sight in mere seconds.

Even after the dog leaves, she stares at the place he was a few minutes ago, trying to comprehend what just happened.

#

**notes:** ughh, i was so tempted to make her follow the dog and finally write about something between bellatrix and sirius but it felt like bellatrix would not follow a mysterious dog into the forbidden forest, she seems not the type to. well, hopefully, soon, they can finally meet!


	14. tried to fight what history has given me

**notes:** wow, this is the longest I have ever written, I think, and I have already finished at least half of the next chapter. I hope this is as good as I think it is.

#

The rest of the year passes without any problems. A rat, a hippogriff and a mass murderer escapes without anyone noticing, Bellatrix passes her exams with flying colours and the end of the year comes rather quickly for her—the train ride even quicker.

Her mother waits for her at the platform. She is stoic and graceful as always, with a beauty rivals a goddess. She stands among the crowd, her eyes watching as the train stops, her her daughter gets out. She watches every move Bellatrix makes.

She greets the daughter she have not seen for nine months with a "Hurry."

Bellatrix quickly falls into the obedient daughter role. "Yes, mother." she replies. She takes her mother's arm and with a last smile at Cedric's way, they apparate away.

When they arrive at the house, Bellatrix quickly makes her way towards her room without saying a word to her mother. She leaves her trunk unopened. She flops down on her bed. She presses her face against the pillow. She sighs. She feels herself missing Hogwarts and Cedric already.

.

There are many rules in the Black household but to Lucretia Black, the most important of them is eating their meals together. Without them, she knows she almost never sees her daughter, so she lets her know that they either their meals together, or she will not eat at all.

Surprisingly, that is the only rule Bellatrix _always_ obeys. Without a complaint.

In the middle of the summer, while they were eating dinner, a tawny owl sweeps in through the open window and flies to Bellatrix. Lucretia raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow when she sees her daughters face lightens up—glows even, at the sight of the owl and the letter.

Her daughter quickly takes the letter, she throws a look at her for a second and opens the letter in a rush. She starts to read the letter, her eyes following each letter and each word and each sentence, never taking her eyes off. When she finishes reading, she gulps. She folds the letter neatly, as though taking care of a mortal wound, carefully and thoughtfully. She turns to the owl and quietly says, "You can rest in my room for a while, I will send a reply."

The owl flies away, and Bellatrix places the letter next to her plate. She continues eating, without saying a word, like nothing happened at all. The only proof saying otherwise, the letter. She only manages to resist for a few minutes. She clears her throat.

Lucretia looks at her daughter, surveying every little detail.

"Yes?" she asks, after a not short, but also not long silence.

"You know Cedric Diggory, mother?" she stars. When she sees her mother nod, she continues, "He invited me to the Quidditch World Cup. It seems they have an extra ticket, his mother was ill lately and she will not recover enought to travel, apparently."

Lucretia nods, measuring her daughter. "And you are asking my permission to go with them, I presume?"

"Yes." Bellatrix answers.

"I did not know you were interested in Quidditch. You never mentioned it before."

"The World Cup is being held in our country after many years. It would be a shame to have the chance to go and not. And it is not just about Quidditch now, is it?" Bellatrix counters.

"No, it is not." Lucretia agrees with a murmur, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. She watches her daughter for a while, examines her. How different, how grown up she seems from the little girl Lucretia knew. When she was little, her daughter would flinch and squirm and wringle her hands together while waiting for her to respond, with a pout in her lips and tears in her eyes. But now—but now, she sits, her back straight, her head high and she stares at her defiantly—a stare that says _you would not dare to say no, you know you will say yes._

Lucretia lets out a sigh.

"You may go."

And the smile that breaks out in her daughter's face is worth letting her go off, it seems. But she is not sure.

She stays quite for a moment. She thinks of the little girl, her little girl she loved so dearly. She wonders how much she misses out when Bellatrix is in Hogwars, how different she acts there, and how unlike her here, at her home. She knows Bellatrix acts different at Hogwars, it was not so far since she was a student in Hogwarts too. And she was someone else while in Hogwarts, even when she was in Slytherin. And now—and now, her daughter is a Gryffindor, she knows there is no way she is still the same Bellatrix.

"Bella," she starts. Bellatrix looks up at her mother, a questioning look on her face. "You are a Black." she states, matter-of-factly.

Bellatrix nods, still confused. "Yes, mother."

Lucretia takes a deep breath. "You are not just a Black, you are the last of the Blacks, the last one that still carries both the name and the blood."

"But, what about Sirius?" Bellatrix asks before she can stop herself. She grimaces, realizing what she just said. They never mention his name in this house.

Lucretia's eyes flash. "Sirius is an escaped convict, a mass murderer and he was disowned. He is not considered a Black, and you know that."

Bellatrix drops her eyes. "Yes, of course, mother."

Lucretia continues, as if it did not happen. "As the last Black, and a pureblood, you have responsibilities to your family, and your blood." She looks at her daughter, to see a sign that she understands what she is saying. "You cannot grow reckless and ruin yourself for a half-blood."

Bellatrix blinks, once and then twice, and Lucretia can see the exact moment the realization dawned on her. Her eyes widen, her eyebrows climb to her hairline. She shakes her head a few times, as if trying to shake the thoughts away, to scare them off. She regains her composure after a few moments and shakes her head once more.

"Cedric and I—We are not—I—It is not that." she chokes out. "We are just friends. Not—Nothing more."

Lucretia raises her eyebrows, "Is it, really? Staying in his house for a few weeks this winter, and now this World Cup thing. I may be giving you permission Bellatrix, but do not use them to ruin your life."

"Ruin my life?" Bellatrix exclaims. "What? Just because I spent a few weeks in my best friend's house?"

"You are a Black by name, and a Rosier by blood. Spending a few weeks in a half-blood's house, with his muggle mother can ruin your life very easily and you know that."

She watches as her daughter grits her teeth, a fire in her eyes, trying to bite back the words, to not lash out, to not say anything offensive to her mother while trying to defend a half-blood and a mudblood, and she is just grateful that Walburga Black no longer lives to punish her daughter for her actions.

"You know what happens when someone gets mixed up with their kind in this family, Bellatrix. Do not make the same mistakes as them." Lucretia dictates coldly, as though giving a command, an order to a soldier instead of talking, advising her daughter.

"There is nothing between me and Cedrid except friendship. And it will be nothing more." Bellatrix grits out.

Lucreatia nods, seemingly accepts her reply for now. "See that it won't."

Bellatrix breathes out shakingly. "May I be excused, mother?" She does not wait for her mother's reply, and leaves the room without any other words.

Lucretia watches as her daughter leaves the room, watches her back and the way she moves. She sighs. She takes a sip of water. She closes her eyes and rests her head against the back of her chair.

.


End file.
